i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
