So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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