I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
