kristin has been a bad kristin
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
