i just google imaged poop.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
