In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
