he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
