you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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