just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
