Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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