Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
