hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Found the puke drawer
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
