I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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