Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
