i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
