So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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