Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just pee around me
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
