I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Green mimosas i think yes
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
