I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
