That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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