i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize