is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
