We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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