You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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