I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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