Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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