i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize