I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
