We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
