Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
