idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
