my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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