I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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