I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
