Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
