he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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