I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
