I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
