i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
