I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
