i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize