Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
