she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
