can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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