I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
