it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
