I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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