One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
