She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You pole danced in your parka.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize