Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
