You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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