So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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