I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
