3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
