WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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