Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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