hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal