Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.