We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
