Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
my god I love twenty year old dicks
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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