I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
