what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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