Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
