Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
