Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
