it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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